Thursday, February 14, 2013
Oh hi. Its me.
Fall came, and life - as it tends to do - happened. I lost people I loved. The Tri-state area was hit hard with a hurricane. My positivity was side-tracked. And, that's okay. That happens.
But, here I am - its a gorgeous, sunny Valentines Day - and I'm on my way.
I have decided for this Valentines Day - to celebrate the strong women in my life. Although the seas in my life have finally calmed (for the moment) - it seems that everyone else's around me has gotten quite rough (a complete understatement). And since I know how very rough those seas can be.. And sometimes it can feel like you're out there all alone.. I have decided to celebrate them.
How lucky I am to have such strong women to set an example for me. Women who stare hardship in the face and say, " Okay, how are we going to deal with this.. Because you're not gonna break me". This is something we ALL have inside of us. For some of us, it's hiding way - wayyyyy - inside. For others, it's just starting to resurface. And, then there are the others - the ones who found this very early on - and never let it go. I am so lucky to have many of THIS kind in my life. What an amazing example.
So, as I sit and watch each one of these women hold on, while their worlds get shook up - and not be able to do anything for them - other than offer the words, "I'm here for you".. I decided to take a little action. I cannot make their problems go away, but what I can do - is remind them how strong and loved they are. For each woman I wrote out a card - included a flower, and left it on their doorstep. It read:
A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely. She is both soft and powerful. Her tears flow as abundantly as her laughter. I am thankful to have such strong women in my life - and I have decided to celebrate them this valentines day. Please know how grateful I am to have you, a strong woman, in my life.
I invite you to join the celebration. Whether you have strong women in your life who can use a reminder or a little push forward to help them keep going.. Or, if you need to do a little self discovery and find your inner power - there's no better day than today, a day of love, to do it.
Happy Valentines day ya'll.
Friday, September 21, 2012
I took a look back and realized - September is the BDAY of this here BLOG!
Join me in celebrating - and having a Flash-Back-Friday moment - by checking out what I was blogging about this time last year!
Thanks for all the love and support!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Apologies on my absence! September was not my month!
While coming off a very successful Girls Night Out event [woowoo!] - my world pretty much got turned upside down! I have worked so hard to keep my life drama-free and cut the negative out.. and it would appear that the drama had been building up in the universe, and seemingly caught up with me in a matter of three weeks. one..thing..after..another.
In the midst of all of this, a lesson was to be learned (as there always is) - and that lesson is to decide which bridges were worth burning, and which deserved to be rebuilt. For me, in my heart, I felt most instances were worth saving. So, I had an adult and honest conversation with most parties involved in each conflict - and resolved each issue. But, there are some scenerios where these bridges had to burn. When someone else's issues, bring your energy down - they've gotta go!
While at a place where I am mending so many fences, and making decisions on who I allow to stay in my life, and who no longer serves a purpose here - I was compelled to take a look at my past and revisit some bridges I had burnt. I discovered sometimes, we burn bridges out of fear and hurt. In certain cases I had burnt bridges because it was easier to put the blame on someone else, without truly looking at myself - and accepting some blame. Upon examining these instances - I wrote a nice long letter to this person.. maybe for them.. maybe to 'free' them of anything they felt they did wrong - or maybe to 'free' me - and make peace with my past.
All in all - I've learned a lot this month. I've learned to be very careful who you let in to your life, your heart, your trust. And, in severing people from your life - be very sure that's something you're willing to live with. Lastly, it's never too late to say something you want to say - it may not always turn out the way you'd like - but you will no longer walk around wondering the 'what ifs'. Make peace with your past, and move to the future - they are directly connected.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Growing up, I always saw myself following in the path of my parents - married by 20, two kids by 26 - business owners.. the whole deal. Here I am, three-years-to-thirty, living home - single. But, I'm okay with this. More than okay - I'm happy.
Do you know how easy it would've been to marry my first boyfriend at 20, and have that life? But, I made the decision - in fact, I've made a series of decisions - that have gotten me to this point in my life today. Those people weren't right for me and the time wasn't either.
As far as careers go - I've always been a worker. I started working at 14 years old. And, really - never stopped. I have ran my own businesses since I was 21 years old. Five startups to be exact. Every single one of them failed. But, from every unsuccessful business, I have taken away a lesson. Each project, fueled the next. All of these projects, fueled my desire to be a business owner like my parents each individually are. And, finally - with my 6th attempt - I have a successful formula working for me now.
My point here is: life is NOT going to ever turn out how you think it will. Would 8 year old jpep be disappointed to know I'm not 3 kids deep by now? Probably. But, she'd love me anyway. ;) There's going to be bumps in the road, there's going to be twists - but, that's what makes the journey that much more worth it. How very boring life would be - if everything turned out according to plan.
And, believe me I know.. It's really easy to sit around and sulk about how you think everything SHOULD be - or question the what-if's, had you made a different decision - or worry about where 'society' says you should be at this point in your life. But, don't make that choice. Choose to be happy - choose to take a step every single day to your goal. Make a plan. Try your best to stick to it. Your life is all your own, and you've gotten yourself to whatever point you're at now. Everything is as it should be. It is up to you to decide where you want to take it next - and HOW you're going to get there.
Safe travels friends. <3
Thursday, August 9, 2012
In light of recent events, I'd like to speak on something super serious: girl on girl crime.
UGH! Is there anything worse? Women hating on each other - tearing other women down about their looks, their jobs, their goals, their accomplishments.. anything they can get their hands on!
When I was going in to class rooms speaking on bullying - I would tell the kids that these bullies were actually the people you needed to feel sorry for - because within these bullies, was sadness. Bullies have insecurities, so in order to take the pressure off them - they.. well.. bully. They're picking on you, because they aren't confident with themselves.
Well ladies.. you're a bunch of bullies!
We are women. We are beautiful, nurturing, life-givers! As a female, we are instantly part of a sisterhood. But, so many of you don't get that. Trust me, when I was younger - I didn't get it either. Our struggles are all our own, but no one can relate to the plite of a woman - like another woman! So, you need to check yo self, before ya reck yo self honey!
Take a long hard look at yourself. When another woman in your life comes to you with great news of accomplishment.. are you happy? or are you jealous? That jealousy is coming from something unfulfilled within yourself and your life - don't take it out on your friends new found achievements! When you see a gorgeous girl, with a fantastic body, and an amazing outfit.. do you compliment her? ..or do you call her a 'bitch' or worse, a 'slut' (CRINGE!!!)? If you don't like the way you look, that's your own problem. Start taking steps to improve that! Start loving yourself! Don't take it out on the girl that has already found her self-love.
And, listen, I get it - there are women (and men) out there, who are very unfortunately, just miserable. You're going to encounter them. But, much like the bullies - you need to feel sorry for them - and keep it moving. Don't let anyone steal your happy.
My point here is, much like those bullies, women are hating on other women - and it all boils down to the one same ugly word: insecurities. You have to be confident in who you are - instead of hating on your own team! Think twice before you go to put someone else down, just to make yourself feel good (for two seconds.. it really doesn't have lasting effects does it?). And, say to yourself 'WHY am I reacting this way?'. Figure it out. Loving yourself, opens your heart for so much more love in your life.
So go get warm and fuzzy with some new gal pals, instead of calling them names, k? k.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Ya knowwww.. I use to be super guilty of serial dating. I went from one serious relationship, to the next. I was holding on to these dysfunctional and volatile relationships for reasons unbeknownst to me. Why would I stay in something so bad for so long? Part of it was, when you're in a bad situation - you can never see how truly awful the circumstance is until you're out of it. Or you don't want to. Maybe I was scared to be alone. Maybe I was even more scared to have to get to know myself.
Regardless, I think so often we are keeping ourselves in negative relationships, because we're scared of what will happen, or who we'll be, when we let go of them. But, when the cons - outweigh the pros - you have to get out of there - for yourself! You need to be able to stand on your own. You need to love yourself. You need to feel whole as a person, by yourself - before you can ever feel one - with someone else. When you are trying to fill a void, with someone else's love or attention.. you are signing up for an endless, empty, journey. Someone else will never be able to give you enough attention, and will never be able to make you happy (even if they're trying their hardest!) - because YOU are your problem.
I took a year off. One year.. maybe a little more. No serious dating. I got to know myself. I figured out how I like to dress. Where I like to eat. What I like to do. What I absolutely hate. It was a journey I wouldn't trade for the world.. and I feel lucky to have done it. Some people go their whole lives with this void in their hearts.
Maybe you don't have a year - maybe you don't have the patience for a long journey - maybe you're already in a relationship, and desperately trying to be happy with yourself. That's fine. I'd suggest some serious alone time (which is healthy for a relationship!) - and some soul searching. Read some good books that will guide you on this journey (I'd recommend "A Place Of Yes" - Bethenny Frankel and "Spirit Junkie" - Gabrielle Bernstein). Do some physical activity. Eat well. Journal. Make lots of lists (of what you love to do, then do them). Listen to yourself (AND YOUR GUT!). When you are truly happy with yourself, you are at peace - and that will only make for the best relationship recipe.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Here's a little-known fact: Crayola officially renamed the "flesh" color crayon "peach" in 1962, in response to the Civil Rights Movement. This was news to Mrs. Bacarella's suburban Kindergarden classroom a couple decades later, where the "skin color" crayon was much in demand -- until we got a stern talking-to by said Mrs. Bacarella about skin color and multi-culturalism.
Angelica Dass's ongoing project Humanae offers a thoughtful way of looking at this puzzle of skin color. She photographs a colorful array of humans and then matches their skin tones to the Pantone color system. And it's no exaggeration to say the results will reconfigure anyone's color-vision. Look how pink and peach and rose and beige and mahogany and coffee-colored we are! What's most surprising is the endless variety -- if color is supposed to be divisive, then the sunburned and the very pale must be going to war -- and how beautiful every single shade is.
Article Taken from Oprah's Life Lift
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