I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in..

 

Hey frienz.

Ya knowwww.. I use to be super guilty of serial dating.  I went from one serious relationship, to the next.  I was holding on to these dysfunctional and volatile relationships for reasons unbeknownst to me.  Why would I stay in something so bad for so long?  Part of it was, when you're in a bad situation - you can never see how truly awful the circumstance is until you're out of it.  Or you don't want to.  Maybe I was scared to be alone.  Maybe I was even more scared to have to get to know myself.   

Regardless, I think so often we are keeping ourselves in negative relationships, because we're scared of what will happen, or who we'll be,  when we let go of them.  But, when the cons - outweigh the pros - you have to get out of there - for yourself!  You need to be able to stand on your own.  You need to love yourself.  You need to feel whole as a person, by yourself - before you can ever feel one - with someone else.  When you are trying to fill a void, with someone else's love or attention.. you are signing up for an endless, empty, journey.  Someone else will never be able to give you enough attention, and will never be able to make you happy (even if they're trying their hardest!) - because YOU are your problem.  

I took a year off.  One year.. maybe a little more.  No serious dating.  I got to know myself.  I figured out how I like to dress.  Where I like to eat.  What I like to do.  What I absolutely hate.  It was a journey I wouldn't trade for the world.. and I feel lucky to have done it.  Some people go their whole lives with this void in their hearts. 

Maybe you don't have a year - maybe you don't have the patience for a long journey - maybe you're already in a relationship, and desperately trying to be happy with yourself.  That's fine.  I'd suggest some serious alone time (which is healthy for a relationship!) - and some soul searching.  Read some good books that will guide you on this journey (I'd recommend "A Place Of Yes" - Bethenny Frankel and "Spirit Junkie" - Gabrielle Bernstein).  Do some physical activity.  Eat well.  Journal.  Make lots of lists (of what you love to do, then do them).  Listen to yourself (AND YOUR GUT!).  When you are truly happy with yourself, you are at peace - and that will only make for the best relationship recipe.

Namaste. ;)

Pantone People!

HI.

Here's a little-known fact: Crayola officially renamed the "flesh" color crayon "peach" in 1962, in response to the Civil Rights Movement. This was news to Mrs. Bacarella's suburban Kindergarden classroom a couple decades later, where the "skin color" crayon was much in demand -- until we got a stern talking-to by said Mrs. Bacarella about skin color and multi-culturalism.

Angelica Dass's ongoing project Humanae offers a thoughtful way of looking at this puzzle of skin color. She photographs a colorful array of humans and then matches their skin tones to the Pantone color system. And it's no exaggeration to say the results will reconfigure anyone's color-vision. Look how pink and peach and rose and beige and mahogany and coffee-colored we are! What's most surprising is the endless variety -- if color is supposed to be divisive, then the sunburned and the very pale must be going to war -- and how beautiful every single shade is.

Article Taken from Oprah's Life Lift

 

View More HERE >

 

 

 

Sunnies!

Yoyoyo..

Part of feeling good, is looking good - and with my bday fastly approaching.. I've got sunnies on the brain.  Help me decide?!

 

Ray Ban Cats

 

Dior Bon Voyage

 

Burberry 

 

Electrics

#Motivational Monday

Oh, hay guyZ.

Today's post was plucked right from my morning coffee with my best friend.  Our conversations, if ever recorded, would be used as studies for ADD - they're all over the place.  But, what we did touch on is - how good we both feel being physically active: her hitting the gym with her hubby and myself with [my new-found obsession] yoga.

Once upon a time I was a very unhappy girl.  I was never NOT confident in who I was as a person, but I was extremely self conscious of the shell I was in.  That's actually putting it mildly.  Let's get real, I hated myself.  Some of it stemmed from negative noise in my life that was reaffirming my feelings, some if it was my own doing, and some of it was picking up on behaviors I'd seen around me.. So this amounted in to one big ball of misery.  I was trapped in a body I did not love.  Over the course of a few years I took measures that were superbly unhealthy - crash dieting, not eating, or worse - and developed some really awful habits - like checking the scale way too often.  While going through this, I was also battling my chronic migraines (as I've mentioned in other posts).  Sometimes weight obsessions occur, when other areas of your life are out of control - so, I'm sure that we can partially attribute my migraines to this.  Eventually, I was put on a medication for my migraines, and I dropped a lot of weight. 

Now, 10 years later - I have such a different outlook on being 'skinny'.  I am in love with myself (and this includes all flaws!) - and the things I dont like?  I will change - and I work every day to do that in a healthy way.  So when we spoke about this change in attitude (whether it came from maturity or just being more comfortable BEING ME) and how far I've come - we spoke about healthy attitudes - to which Christina [the bff] said "Be Healthy, Not Skinny".  There it was! The perfect mantra. 

So, I invite you to take a hard look at yourself!  What don't you like about yourself?  Now, change it.  Can't change it? Then embrace it! You get one life - this is NOT a dress rehearsal - you deserve to live a life filled with [self] love, but you're the only person that can make it happen.

Check out this awesome Pinterest page for some self love boosters!

#FlashbackFriday

For today's Flashback - Check out this amazing entry on something that I would consider a little more magical than fireworks (I know, I can't believe I said it either..)

CLICK HERE!

AND, Check out THIS - a close second, happening in New York!

Oh, goodie!

Ciao bellas!

I am one sentimental chick - and I am also pretty instagram obsessed.. So, check out this super cute idea that majorly appeals to me!

Meet Instagoodies! Born from two brothers who share a love of photography and design - they have created a platform for you to upload [up to 90] different images from your Instagram, and turn them in to a pocket-sized sticker book! HOW CUTE?

Document your memories, and then share the love!
Get yours HERE >
Follow me on Instagram HERE >

Mirror, Mirror..

Beauties!

I read this article this morning and absolutely loved it!  I used to have a really destructive relationship with mirrors.  In fact, I don't even have a mirror in my bedroom - as I feel it should be a sanctuary, and not a place to criticize yourself.  Read this article and reflect (quite literally) on your relationship with mirrors (and yourself!).

My thighs are too big.  Not fat, but too muscular.  I look like a runner, not a ballet dancer.  My rib cage is too wide.  No matter how thin I get, the circumference of my ribs is still too big, and I can’t change that.  My legs are too short.  My torso is too long.  I have a nice muscular back, but still, my ribs are too wide.  I build muscle too easily.  I’m strong and so capable, but I don’t look right.  My face is too expressive and I already have wrinkles on my forehead.  I’ve had them forever.  My arms are beautiful.  My eyes are loosing some of their brightness.  They aren’t looking as blue as they used to be… the flaws go on and on.
I spent 3 years of my life working as a professional ballet dancer, and 14 years before that training to become a ballerina.  It was my job to be in front of the mirror all day, Monday through Friday.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’ve heard it so many times before — ballerinas suffer from extreme pressure to obtain a so-called “ideal” and often unnatural physique, which often leads to eating disorders and unhealthy self-image… I know.  It’s a shame and a hazard of the profession, which I do believe is actually getting better as our society comes to accept more and more fuller figured athletes, models and actresses.
But this post isn’t about eating disorders or weight; this is about the mirror.  I used to be totally addicted to looking in the mirror.  You can call it vanity or self-obsession, but I believe it was more complex than that.  For most of my life, I used it as a tool.  It was a way for me to check the lines I was creating with my body.  It was something to “spot” in my pirouettes.  It allowed me to be totally aware of what my body was doing and what it looked like at any given moment.  I relied on it for everything.  I would communicate through it.  I was constantly looking at myself.  Always looking, always checking, always critiquing.  And since I had been doing that since the age of three, it felt… natural.
But eventually, I spent so much time looking in the mirror that I began to distrust it.  Mirrors can be deceiving, and when you stare into one for too long, it’s easy to lose perspective.  So when it’s your job to look at one all day, that can become a problem.   Some mirrors make you look taller, others shorter.  It all comes down to the way it’s hung and the glass itself.  I became an aficionado of mirrors, always finding the “best” one in a dance studio and taking a place at the barre that would allow me to use that pane.   It was usually the one that made me look the tallest.
Even when I approved of how I looked during a step, I would still feel a twinge of dissatisfaction at the knowledge that the mirror was actually fooling me – it made me see myself as looking better than I knew I actually did.   My relationship with the mirror had become a troubled one.  It was almost as if I couldn’t tear my eyes away.  If I wasn’t in the mirror, where was I?  Who was I?  I knew I had to break my addiction and figure that out or I was sure to become nothing more than a self-possessed nutcase, a la Black Swan.   So I tried to just stop looking.
Dancing without a mirror is like driving in the dark without your headlights on.  You can’t see what you’re doing, you just have to trust the movements.  Okay, maybe that’s not the best analogy, as I don’t condone driving without your headlights on.  But suffice to say,  whenever I would dance on stage or away from the mirror, I would feel a bit more hesitant initially, but that insecurity would always give way to a kind of freedom I felt nowhere else.  Without the mirror, I would trust myself and I would dismiss my inner critic. It was liberating.
I made the choice to leave the professional ballet company world and I spent nearly 4 years never setting foot inside a dance studio.  I stayed far away from those floor to ceiling mirrors and forgot about my obsession with them.  My addiction to looking in the mirror – my vanity, I suppose you could call it – quickly faded away.  I stopped being so critical of my appearance and started to love the way I looked.
I found new ways to gauge myself by looking outward at the world around me.  I started volunteering, working at Meals on Wheels and working fundraisers.  I started teaching dance to kids who had been through numerous abusive foster homes and had since been taken into custody by the state.  I saw a much better reflection of myself  in the eyes of the people I was helping, than I ever saw in a ballet studio.
Now when I take a ballet class, the mirror doesn’t phase me.  It continues to help me check my positions and alignment, but it no longer frustrates me.  I found the harder I looked for something in the mirror the more elusive it became.  It was only when I let go, stopped searching and stopped critiquing that I could suddenly see myself clearly.  And what I saw was lovely

BY Heather Toner

Read More Here >>

SEW: Supporting + Empowering Women

Peoples..

Let me introduce you to SEW [Supporting + Empowering Women] is a development project that employs HIV+ women in Arusha, Tanzania, to make environmentally-friendly bags.  Using natural fibers native to Tanzania, and recycled product bags/african fabric - the women hand make these amazing totes.

"In Africa, it is difficult to find a job once infected with HIV/AIDS due to the stigma associated with the disease. To address this problem, SEW has the simple aim of providing secure and meaningful employment.


Over the past 3 years, SEW has become a stepping-stone for financial independence. This has been achieved through sewing skill training, financial literacy classes and English classes."

 

 For more info click HERE > 

#Motivational Mondays

Hola Amigas,

Let's talk about honesty.  So, as we already know, this past year (as I relentlessly mention) has been one of the greatest in my 27 years.  From pain, we grow - and I have surely grown.  I have chose to be happy and chose to live a positive life.  However in doing this,  does not mean life ceases to throw you curve balls or conflict - and that's where honesty comes in.


Honesty is freedom.  More recently, I have faced conflicts in my life head-on with honesty.  I have had honest conversations about my feelings or how someone has made me feel, and have been freed from stress and worrying.  You have the power to take the weight off your shoulders. It is so easy to avoid a conflict, harbor your feelings, and smack a smile on your face, right?  But, to be at peace with yourself and speak your mind, is one of the bravest acts.  Its risky business this honesty stuff - you do not know how the other end is going to receive the information.  Some may get confrontational, defensive, and re-butt.  You need to be prepared for these outcomes.  Always remain even-minded and open.  Receive their opinions and thoughts and respond honestly.  There is no reason for voice-raising and immature character bashing.  When you've allowed negativity and anger in to the conversation, it's time to call it quits - and try again when one or both of you have cooled off.  Or, walk away from this relationship - knowing you've tried.  If you can not be honest in a relationship, then it's not one you want to be in.  A relationship without truth, is one that will eat your positive energy and become toxic to your self.

I understand that honesty is a simple, golden rule.  But, how many of it actually practice it in our every day lives?  In all of our relationships ?  In order to utilize it with others - I think you must first start being honest with yourself and your feelings - start inward, work outward - and do it NOW!

P.S. Hope everyone's Fourth of July week was fabu! And, I hope you're all diggin' the new digs around here!